DVD/150: POLYESTER (John Waters, 1981)

John Waters gives the 50s and 60s Hollywood soap opera 'women's pictures' a good kick up the dirtbox with his scattergun film-making in POLYESTER.

Divine stars the put-upon heroine, for the first time playing a character not based on his own persona.

Where did it go wrong for suburban housewife Francine Fishpaw?  Neglected by her husband Elmer who runs the local sex cinema and is sleeping with his secretary, and ignored by her two children Lu-Lu who go-go dances everywhere and Dexter who is secretly the rampaging Baltimore Footstomper.

Even her mother and the family dog hate her; her only friend is her former maid Cuddles who has recently inherited a lot of money and dreams of becoming a debutante.

Francine turns to alcohol but that's when her super-sensitive nose sniffs out sexy hunk Todd Tomorrow who swears undying love... is happiness calling for Francine?

Shelf or charity shop?  I think POLYESTER can happily live in the DVD plastic storage box but I always forget how enjoyable it is - even if my 40 year-old Oderama card has long since lost it's whiff.  Divine is great as Francine with her Liz Taylor hair, purring voice and outraged dignity; he really was a great comedic actor.  The real revelation is Tab Hunter, the first real Hollywood star Waters ever cast who is an absolute riot as the manager of an Arthouse cinema that screens Marguerite Duras triple-bills, he even gets to sing the title song, one of three in the film co-written by Deborah Harry.  For Waters fans, there is the joy of spotting his 'Dreamland rep' - Mink Stole is sexy secretary Sandra with her Bo Derek corn-rows, Cookie Mueller and Susan Lowe as victims of the Baltimore Footstomper, Mary Vivian Pearce as a manic nun, Jean Hill as a revenge-seeking preacher after having been whacked in the arse by a broom, and of course, Edith Massey as Cuddles, dreaming of her debutante ball and "batchelor cotillions".  Sadly these were the last appearances from Edith and Cookie who both died during the 1980s.

DVD/150: FEMALE TROUBLE (John Waters, 1974)

"Where do these people come from?  Where do they go when the sun goes down?  Isn't there a law or something?" - Rex Reed's rant about FEMALE TROUBLE proved press quote fodder for John Waters but it's scattergun satire still feels vibrantly fresh.

Following up the underground success of PINK FLAMINGOS, Waters provides another vehicle for the amazing Divine, this time in two roles.

Channeling Liz Taylor - helped by Van Smith's costumes and make-up -  Divine gives us Dawn Davenport, from bored Baltimore 1960s schoolgirl to ranting, scarred murderess on Death Row.

A teen runaway because she doesn't receive cha-cha heels for Christmas, Dawn becomes a mother after being raped by filthy Earl (Divine again),  She achieves notoriety when she meets Donald and Donna Dasher, terrorist beauticians who need a model to show that crime enhances beauty. 

Dawn's nemeses are her brattish daughter Taffy and the hag-next-door Ida.

Shelf or charity shop?  Shelf!  Waters' tribute to expoitation bad-girl films is an eye-popping riot from start to finish.  1974's THE TOWERING INFERNO, CHINATOWN, and YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN all seem to have been made a long time ago but FEMALE TROUBLE is as fresh as Baltimore paint. Waters elicits an extraordinary performance from Divine who is hilarious as the murderous, glamourous (even when acid-scarred) Dawn - you haven't lived till you have seen her death-defying trampoline act!  The Dreamland rep company - more over-the-top than the Western Front - are all great - the sublime Mink Stole as Dawn's awful daughter Taffy, Mary Vivian Pearce and David Lochary as the Dashers, Edith Massey as Ida, distraught that her straight nephew isn't gay "The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life" and Dawn's two cohorts Cookie Mueller and Susan Walsh.

I should add FEMALE TROUBLE includes the greatest line of cinematic dialogue ever: "I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls!"

DVD/150: PINK FLAMINGOS (John Waters, 1972)

There are 1972 classics which are unmistakably from that time: THE GODFATHER, CABARET, THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE, WHAT'S UP DOC? but John Waters' anarchic, underground PINK FLAMINGOS feels oddly timeless!

PINK FLAMINGOS was Waters' third independant feature with a budget of $10,000 borrowed from his father.

Filmed around Baltimore, the action centres around a trailer-home which cost art director Vince Peranio $100 - half the production design budget!  Waters filmed during the winter - watch the cast's visible breath - using electricity provided by a cable from a nearby farmhouse!

PINK FLAMINGOS is still a hilarious, jaw-dropping experience!

Divine, the sickest person alive, is living as 'Babs Johnson' with her friend Cotton, her son Crackers and egg-loving mother Edie.

But Raymond and Connie Marble are disgusted they don't hold the title despite kidnapping girls to be inseminated then selling the babies to lesbians.

A filth war to the death is declared!

Shelf or charity shop?  PINK FLAMINGOS is squatting on the shelf with a dirty grin. A true original, John Waters' gloriously filthy film features his Dreamland ensemble, all acting IN INVERTED COMMAS.  Sadly most have died: Cookie Mueller, David Lochery, Danny Mills, Susan Walsh and the truly bizarre Edith Massey; but still with us are Mary Vivian Pearce, Channing Wilroy and the amazing Mink Stole, giving a performance that reminded me of her inferior, Cate Blanchett.  But of course the film belongs to Divine who is part Diana Dors, part Jayne Mansfield, and all Divine.  Watch this and never hear "The Girl Can't Help It", "How Much Is That Doggy In The Window" or "Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow" the same way again.

Dvd/150: I AM DIVINE (Jeffrey Schwarz, 2013)

I AM DIVINE is an evocative documentary which tells the life of "the most beautiful woman in the world" Divine.

A real rags to riches story, we follow the story of how fat, gay and unhappy teenager Glenn Milstead became underground filmstar Divine through the films of school friend John Waters which led to becoming a real celebrity and recording star.  John Waters' surprising crossover hit HAIRSPRAY garnered him his best reviews and he was just breaking through in other mainstream roles when he tragically died aged only 42 from a cardiac arrest.

Interviewees include Waters (of course) and costars Sue Lowe, Mink Stole, Ricki Lake, Tab Hunter and Mary Vivian Pearce along with production teamers Vincent Peranio and Pat Moran.

Also interviewed are fellow drag stars Holly Woodlawn, John Epperson and Joshua Grannell as well as his mother Frances who the film is dedicated to.

Gone but not forgotten.

Shelf or charity shop? She is Divine and she's on the shelf!