DVD/150: POLYESTER (John Waters, 1981)

John Waters gives the 50s and 60s Hollywood soap opera 'women's pictures' a good kick up the dirtbox with his scattergun film-making in POLYESTER.

Divine stars the put-upon heroine, for the first time playing a character not based on his own persona.

Where did it go wrong for suburban housewife Francine Fishpaw?  Neglected by her husband Elmer who runs the local sex cinema and is sleeping with his secretary, and ignored by her two children Lu-Lu who go-go dances everywhere and Dexter who is secretly the rampaging Baltimore Footstomper.

Even her mother and the family dog hate her; her only friend is her former maid Cuddles who has recently inherited a lot of money and dreams of becoming a debutante.

Francine turns to alcohol but that's when her super-sensitive nose sniffs out sexy hunk Todd Tomorrow who swears undying love... is happiness calling for Francine?

Shelf or charity shop?  I think POLYESTER can happily live in the DVD plastic storage box but I always forget how enjoyable it is - even if my 40 year-old Oderama card has long since lost it's whiff.  Divine is great as Francine with her Liz Taylor hair, purring voice and outraged dignity; he really was a great comedic actor.  The real revelation is Tab Hunter, the first real Hollywood star Waters ever cast who is an absolute riot as the manager of an Arthouse cinema that screens Marguerite Duras triple-bills, he even gets to sing the title song, one of three in the film co-written by Deborah Harry.  For Waters fans, there is the joy of spotting his 'Dreamland rep' - Mink Stole is sexy secretary Sandra with her Bo Derek corn-rows, Cookie Mueller and Susan Lowe as victims of the Baltimore Footstomper, Mary Vivian Pearce as a manic nun, Jean Hill as a revenge-seeking preacher after having been whacked in the arse by a broom, and of course, Edith Massey as Cuddles, dreaming of her debutante ball and "batchelor cotillions".  Sadly these were the last appearances from Edith and Cookie who both died during the 1980s.

This week I stepped back in time and looked into the future at one and the same time with the unstoppable Blondie!

Can it really be nearly THIRTY THREE years since I first saw them? Well I have the ticket still to prove it... and it cost me £2.50 to be 6 rows back from the stage.As you can see I saw them twice in 1978 as they went from Plastic Letters to Parallel Lines then I took a break from them - for 25 years.

Their last show at Shepherds Bush doesn't linger in the mind apart from singing Happy Birthday to Clem Burke but after their Blondiefication of WE THREE KINGS last Christmas and good reports of their new material Owen and I decided a trip to see them at the indigO2 was in order.Against a massive backdrop of signature b&w parallel lines with their name picked out in alternate stripes, Chris and Clem appeared with their new keyboardist, guitarist and bassist - they work their way through so many of these they are probably called "Hey you" by the three founding members - and of course Herself.

It was odd to look at her and think "That's Debbie Harry" one of the greatest pop icons ever - the Diva whose Bardot-like gob and all-knowing eyes were plastered all over my bedroom back in the day, the cool cartoon blonde bombshell to the icy hauteur of Siouxsie, the anarchic avant-garde of Patti and the upper sixth performing arts style of Kate.

It has been a source of some discomfort down the years that Debbie has aligned herself with the former First Ladies of Pop who snipe at Madonna who has always praised Deb as an inspiration. But then Debbie seems to always bring the drama, be it with Patti Smith or the ex-members of Blondie. Still credit where it's due, she is a pussycat next to that moaning cow Joni Mitchell. And she's still hypnotic despite herself! As usual Debbie was dressed very individually - a tight-fitting blouse over an A-line mid-calf skirt of black taffeta and net (which put me in mind of something you might see at a 1950s mafia christening) offset by some colourful chains and belts around her waist.

After opening with a new song D-DAY Debbie slurred "Hi, it's Blondie calling" before they smashed into HANGING ON THE TELEPHONE, one of my all-time favorites. They kept me bouncing in my seat when they followed it up with the other Jack Lee song from Parallel Lines WILL ANYTHING HAPPEN. Je squeal!They then alternated between new and old songs - they gave us THE HARDEST PART (which I never cared for!), ATOMIC, RAPTURE, CALL ME, THE TIDE IS HIGH, MARIA and ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

The good news is that the group have found their inner Blondie again - all the new songs sounded fine with a couple that were real standouts and have me squirming till the cd is allegedly released in September, in particular I really liked LOVE DOESN'T FRIGHTEN, THE END, WHAT I HEARD and MOTHER.The encore included of all things a cover version of Taio Cruz' BREAK YOUR HEART - yeah as if I knew, I did a lyric search when I got back home! - which I guess was interesting but when you have a wealth of hits etc. etc.

Normal service was resumed with blistering versions of PICTURE THIS and of course the disco glory of HEART OF GLASS with extended "Oooowooo woe-hos" at the end which gave me more time to watch my drumming god Clem pulverise his kit with mighty runs across the drums to keep the momentum going. It was 1978 all over again.
Hopefully there will be a follow-up tour when the album PANIC OF GIRLS is released in September. Go on Deb... you know you want to!