PETER PAN at the National Theatre: Flying Blind....

Nearly twenty years ago the National Theatre staged a production of PETER PAN at the Olivier Theatre directed by John Caird as their Christmas show.  It was a full-on "bells and smells" production with lavish sets, lengthy running time and star names like Ian McKellen as Captain Hook and Jenny Agutter as Mrs Darling to buttress the relatively unknown Daniel Evans as Peter.

And now it's back in a new co-production with Bristol Old Vic.  I wish I had a better experience with it but it was a long slog, especially the first act.   Yes they fly... but the show is preciously short on wonder.  To be honest I had only booked as Sophie Thompson was due to play Mrs Darling / Captain Hook but she injured her wrist in rehearsals and pulled out.  Thank you for that Sophie *glares*

My heart sank when I realized that Paul Hilton (Peter Pan), Anna Francolini (Mrs Darling/Captain Hook) and Lois Chimimba (Tiger Lily) had all played star roles in the National Theatre's Xmas shitefest in 2015 WONDER.LAND, the absolute nadir in theatregoing. But here they were being directed by Sally Cookson who was responsible for the NT's 2014 Xmas show TREASURE ISLAND - again here we have her shtick of having non-traditionalist casting.

What was so depressing particularly about the first half was the grinding inevitability of the bete noir of my theatre-going this year - the absurd 'poor theatre' trops that flag that the production you see has the taint of Director Concept Theatre.  Teeth-grindingly over-played comedy roles such as Felix Hayes as Mr Darling and Ahamed Saikat as a gibberish, loutish Tinkerbell (both acting as if he is playing to an audience of retarded 4 year-olds), a woeful music score and, the ultimate banal artistic choice, filling the big bare stage with bits of old wood, corrugated iron and old carpet to turn into scenery and have moth-eaten woollen jumpers and bobble-hats donned as costumes.

It's so redundant as a stylistic choice and here is the real kick in the soft parts - all these faux-poor theatre trappings - and my ticket cost £52.  I really have no idea where that money went, it certainly was not reflected in the production.  It is the banal thought processes that have reached their laughable limit in the debacle of Emma Rice's sanctioned performances at the Globe this year.  They are trumpeted as 'magical' but they haven't the slightest shred of magic about them.  Let alone humour...

But even the lumpen thud of an ugly production cannot stand in the way of J.M. Barrie's story of the boy who wouldn't grow up and as the second half is pure plot it thundered along giving Hilton as Peter and Madeleine Worrall as Wendy real chances to shine, particularly in the final scene when Barrie highlights the inherent sadness of Peter's remaining forever outside of life and Wendy's in moving away forever from her childhood.  Anna Francolini was okay as Mrs Darling but made hardly any impression as Captain Hook, the NT keep trying to push her as a lead actress in these shows but to paraphrase my dear friend Andrew "as long as she's got a hole in her arse she'll always be supporting".  She simply doesn't have the star wattage for lead roles.

I first saw a production of PETER PAN onstage in 1969 - a mere babe in arms - at the New Victoria Theatre which featured Hayley Mills as Peter (in her UK stage debut) and Bill Travers as Captain Hook, I suspect in true JM Barrie fashion I am still pining for that more innocent show...

WONDER.LAND at the Olivier Theatre - Damon Albarn's musical is God.Awful...

Where to begin?  And more importantly, where to end?  I guess I should just dive in...

WONDER.LAND (the dot is so important) is a collaboration (or unholy alliance) between Damon Albarn, Moira Buffini and Rufus Norris based on ALICE IN WONDERLAND which launched at the Manchester International Festival - and that should set off the warning klaxons: the Manchester International Festival... words to chill the blood eh?

After not-terribly good reviews there, it has supposedly been "looked at again" for it's London debut.  I would suggest they all check in with their opticians very quickly as their is something very wrong with their collective sight.

It didn't take long before the sinking feeling started that we were watching a misfire of major proportions.  Again and again, with no attempts to cover them, the woeful Buffini script ticks off the important (to her) points: 'Bullied Schoolchild' = TICK, 'Gay Best Friend' = TICK, 'Single Mother' = TICK, 'Abuse of Social Media' = TICK, 'Gender Role' = TICK and on and on and on with the relentlessness of a Politically Correct Joyless Machine.

Aly is a teenager in a new school, suffering from the recent separation of her parents - her dad is a 'lovable' gambler - but she escapes her life of boredom and bullying through her mobile phone.  She starts a new game called Wonder.Land, picking as her avatar a cutesy Alice figure, but soon finds the gaming world swamping her real life - especially when her nasty headteacher confiscates Aly's phone and signs on as her into the Wonder.Land turning Alice into a nasty character instead...

They could have all been sitting on each other's faces for all I cared about them.  So to find something positive to say... the video designs were impressive I suppose, in particular the scary Cheshire cat slinking about, with a grinning mouth of fangs.  But the costume designs by Katrina Lindsey were ugly in the extreme - Carly Bawden as the Alice figure has the bad luck to wear the worst offender of all and Rae Smith's sets do little to inspire.

The performances also barely registered above the embarrassing.  Carly Bawden makes the most of her fictional Alice but she never registers above a blip of interest.  Lois Chimimba does at least make an impression as Aly but her character is so resoundingly chippy that again it's hard to get emotionally involved with her.  Anna Francolini, a stalwart of many a musical ensemble, plays the nasty head-mistress - MATILDA anyone? - but sings in such a harsh, grating tone that it's little wonder she rarely plays a lead.

I won't mention any of the other cast... oh ok then, Hal Fowler as the MC of the whole proceedings is profoundly annoying, none more so than bellowing out "Www.wonder.land" usually following it with "bubblewoobubblewoobubblewoo. bumberboo.bong" or some such shite.  I am sure Mrs Hal Fowler aka Kim Wilde was happy when he wasn't singing it around the house. 

Damon Albarn?  Don't get me started.  The man could not write a show tune if his preening life depended on it.  Hopefully WONDER.LAND will expose this musical charlatan of his much-vaunted prowess.  The broadsheets fall over themselves to praise his littlest fart as another ground-breaking sonic sound - write an opera Mr Albarn? Oh yes why not.  Write a musical Mr Albarn? Oh yes why not.  Only here his tunes are lightweight to say the least... halfhearted Lionel Bart rip-offs.  It truly is a ghastly score.

Afterwards I was sunk into the deepest depression.  It was the sheer ghastliness of the whole event, polluting the stage that once was home to Richard Eyre's production of GUYS AND DOLLS, that sent me into such a state.  That and the fact that it obviously cost the earth which could have been spent on a production that at least set out to provide genuine joy for the audience. 

As usual, I was left wondering when director Rufus Norris looked at this resounding load of cock and thought, "Yes this is ready to set before a paying audience".  I saw him walking through the Lyttelton bar afterwards where I had gone to have a strong drink.  If he wasn't moving so fast I would have thrown my empty glass at him.

At one point, as the air of confusion settled over the family audience, a child wailed loudly.  I genuinely thought of shouting out "You and me both bitch".

Another Sunday, Another Sondheim!This time it was to see a concert version of Sondheim's 1970 groundbreaking musical COMPANY which reunited the cast members from the Donmar's 1995 production originally directed by Sam Mendes.

I must say from the off that COMPANY is a show that I find it hard to warm to - the score yes, the show no. The story - or non-story - of Robert arriving at his 35th birthday and being finally forced to confront his single status and commitment phobia has just never connected with me. The show was originally a series of one-act plays by George Furth and I have always felt that it has never managed to transcend that. The long and the short of it is - I can't be arsed about any of the characters, no matter how amusing they are.

I felt this performance wasn't as cohesive as last Sunday's MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG which I guess is the fault of director Jamie Lloyd. I had hoped I was over my distrust of Lloyd and his more-speed-instead-of-haste approach after enjoying his production of PASSION but, opposed to Rob Ashford's MERRILY which had a depth and vibrant performances despite the concert setting, here it felt the actors had turned up, had read what was on the sheet in front of them and moved to where they were told to move to.

Some of the performers still managed to shine - Adrian Lester can still pull off the trick of making Robert a three-dimensional character and his singing of the classic BEING ALIVE was wonderfully vibrant and, yes, alive. He won the Olivier Award for this role and it's still easy to see why.

It was nice to see Rebecca Front and Clive Rowe as his married friends Sarah and Harry who are still sniping away at each other about his drinking and her eating fads, Gareth Snook as married man Peter was still clumsily trying to make a pass at Robert and the three girls who Robert is keeping hanging were very well played by Anna Francolini as the manic Marta, Summer Strallen as Kathy and Katherine Kingsley as air stewardess April.

To be honest, my main reason for wanting to see the show was to see Sophie Thompson again as Amy, the scatterbrained girlfriend of Michael Simkin's Paul who despite everything was NOT GETTING MARRIED TODAY. Once again Sophie stopped the show with the song and nailed the humour and the pathos in the scene following it.

Sophie was nominated for the Olivier Award for this performance but lost to co-star Sheila Gish who played Elaine Stritch's landmark role as Joanne, the hard-drinking, sardonic older married woman who has Robert in her sights.

Sadly Sheila Gish died five years ago - the show was dedicated to her memory - and it was stated "It’s our job to honour Sheila by getting somebody brilliant in that role" Somebody brilliant must have had her mobile turned off as we got Haydn Gwynne. She was o.k. but it would have been amazing to see someone like Frances Barber play it.

Gareth Valentine was again Music Director and did a fantastic job with a fine nine-piece onstage band in punching over Sondheim's constantly surprising score. Shame about that damn book.

And so endeth the year of Sondheim celebrations... unless someone would like to squeeze in a quick production of THE FROGS?

If there were any doubts that Stephen Sondheim is theatre royalty then this year's extended celebrations for his 80th birthday proves it. But then if anyone deserves to be celebrated it's our Steve.

The Donmar are paying tribute to the great man with their production of PASSION but they also are honouring two previous Sondheim shows they have staged with concert performances at the Queens Theatre with the original cast members. The first show was very appropriate for the subject of looking back, MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG.

Based on the 1934 play by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart, the story charts the disillusion and falling-out of three seemingly close friends only the action takes place in reverse so we start in 1980 with Frank, Charlie and Mary no longer speaking, through all the compromises and betrayals that erodes their friendship to the final scene which shows them all meeting for the first time on a NY rooftop to watch Sputnik overhead in 1957. The device is hugely affecting, by the time you reach the end you feel for the three young people, so wide-eyed with hope and optimism for the future which you know will founder on the rocks of distrust, infidelity, compromise and alcohol.

I was curious to know exactly how they were going to stage this - surely they couldn't just sing the songs with maybe an onstage narrator filling in the blanks? Luckily no, we got the full show acted out although with no costumes and in between lecterns set up across the stage. I was worried that Owen, who had not seen the show, would not be able to get into the story but luckily the performances more than made up for any lack of trappings. Reprising their roles as Mary, Charlie and Franklin were Samantha Spiro, Daniel Evans and Julian Ovenden and it was a delight to see them together again, they obviously enjoy each other's company as much as we did! All three were in fine voice and transcended the bare stage and their fellow cast members sitting in a semi-circle at the back of the stage to flesh out their characters and their stories.

Also I should mention the scene-stealing Anna Francolini as Gussie, I had quite forgotten what an excellent character the book writer George Furth created in her - the bitchy, egomaniacal Broadway star who becomes Frank's second wife. Fine support too was provided by Mary Stockley as Beth, Frank's first wife and James Millard as the crass but caring Broadway producer Joe Josephson.

And of course it was a joy to hear Sondheim's blissful score 'live' again - with songs of the calibre of "Not A Day Goes By", "Good Thing Going" and "Our Time" it is truly one of his most under-rated scores. I don't mind telling you I was a-blub for most of the second half.

Unbelievably there are still people who purport to love the theatre who still fail to recognise Sondheim's unique place within it - surely anyone who has been able to experience in the space of the last few months his individual scores for ASSASSINS, PASSION, INTO THE WOODS and now MERRILY must surely be able to understand exactly why he is to be celebrated as he has this year.

This Sunday sees a similar concert performance of COMPANY with the cast of the Donmar's 1995 production - I cannot wait!