Now is the time to address the subject of Mrs. Jade Tweed.

I must admit I haven't been taking too much interest in the rolling saga of Jade's health as

a) I could give a shit
b) one gets so used to the Heat/OK/Hello/Closer/Pigbreeder's Gazette shock horror headlines of JORDAN IN HAIR-SPRAY ADDICTION HORROR!
KERRY IN JUNIOR DISPRIN HOSPITAL RUSH!
JODIE - I AM A RECOVERING JELLY TOT MUNCHING SURVIVOR!

But allegedly Jade has actually put down a payment on the farm and placed the bucket in a good position to be booted. Which is sad for her family and friends to say nothing of the editorial staff of many redtops and scandal sheets.

But as we are being forced to take an opinion on her death too, what is the response to be?

I had an illuminating conversation with Andrew about it last week. Now Andrew can always be relied upon to bring an individual slant to any subject and suggested that if Tracey Emin can make a living out of recycling her life experience why not Jade? Why is it acceptable for John Diamond and Oscar Moore to be given weekly columns in broadsheets to discuss their imminent deaths while Jade is considered to be de trop? Indeed Diamond's demise gave rise to the phenomenon of Nigella Lawson: grieving widow morphing into full-breasted Domestic Goddess - so I could kill him on that score alone.

Of course the answer is viewed through veils of class - Jade is a creation of celebrity culture who has happily given her life over to 24/7 access all areas coverage whereas the chattering class culture represented by Diamond and Moore are leaving us with - ahem - bodies of work which will live on as reflections in the shadows of mortality.

My take on it is that here we have a person who has risen from nowhere to celebrity, championed as "one of us" by her admirers and by her detractors as a living embodiment of the worst excesses of the crass dumbing-down of society - the glorification of ignorance and dead-eyed calculation. But now her imminent demise has galvanised public opinion into making her a beloved heroine for the masses.

JADITA anyone?
But this week something happened to maybe change the dynamic of Jadita's story. Wendy Richard died from the cancer that she battled for 13 years with no fanfare, no exclusive deals, no spotlight. The fact that Wendy Richard was in the public eye was down to 45 years hard work as an actress who along the way created two memorable characters in iconic BBC TV shows. And it wasn't like she didn't have a sad upbringing. Her father committed suicide when she was 11 and Wendy discovered the body.

Needless to say as soon as the news of her demise was announced Max Clifford announced that Wendy Richard had been in contact with Jade, giving her support and love.

It does rather suggest a desperation to keep her story in the forefront. I had heard that after Jade's marriage to her scally toyboy that she would retire from the limelight, her greatest wish come true. But now she intends to be christened with her two sons aged 4 and 5 at a local church and have a huge party afterwards. Oh and be interviewed for a tv special by Piers Morgan.

Enough already.

I used to joke that it surely wasn't long before we had a new reality show called CELEBRITY AUTOPSY... have you noticed these things happen by degrees?