Last night I flew solo to Hammersmith to see the one and only John Waters giving us his THIS FILTHY WORLD talk.

It was way mobbed because they had closed the circle bar - for the understandable reason that the circle was only half full - so while attempting to get a drink I missed the stripper at the start. But Dawn - who knows a thing or two now about the ecdysiasts of today - said she wasn't all that.

So up I bounded to the circle and took my seat and that's when the misgivings started. I presume he was booked in there as it is probably seen now as *the* place to play for stand-up comedians - you know those men whose careers are spent on 'ironic' quiz shows, slowly moving along the desk until they are given an 'ironic' news quiz show all of their own.

Anyways it was far too big a hall for our John. No intimacy at all - just him on stage with two enormous screens behind him showing us his every facial wince. It really was odd... I think I looked at him once then just watched the screens. Very wrong.

He also did 85% of the material that's on the dvd of the show so that too was a bit strange. I was sort of singing along with the anecdotes. Still he had some cutting remarks about the upcoming US election.... marvelling that Sarah Palin could almost be a character out of one of his films - played by Mink Stole of course! He also made an astute point that the reason his films have a longevity is because he "looked up to bad taste not down on it". Something few directors seem to understand.

Anyway it was nice to see him - despite the shocking lack of any merch on sale in the foyer.

I sadly but wisely passed on a drink with Dawn, Don, Toby and Don's American friend afterwards because it took me two hours - TWO HOURS - to get home from Hammersmith. No British Rail due to overhead power problems and the Piccadilly line had serious delays due to signalling problems.

Host the fuckin' Olympics? Don't make me larf.

Sadly any good feeling engendered by our Pope of Trash was gone by the time I banged the front door behind me finally.