50 Favourite Musicals: 9: LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1982) (Alan Menkin, Howard Ashman)

The 50 shows that have stood out down the years and, as we get up among the paint cards, the shows that have become the cast recording of my life:

First performed: 1982, Orpheum Theatre, NY

First seen by me: 1983, Comedy Theatre, London

Productions seen: three
  
Score: Alan Menkin / Howard Ashman

Book: Howard Ashman

Plot: At Mushnik's Skid Row Florists, Seymour has an unrequited love for his co-worker, the sweet-natured but dumb blonde Audrey.  In a desperate attempt to entice customers, Mushnik allows Seymour to display a weird plant, that appeared suddenly during a total eclipse, that Seymour calls Audrey II.  Seymour cuts his finger and discovers Audrey II responds to drops of blood.  Audrey II comes to life and offers Seymour all he has ever wanted in life as long as it keeps being fed blood.. anybody's blood...

Five memorable numbers: SUDDENLY SEYMOUR, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN, SKID ROW, DENTIST!

Back in the September of 1983 I was bereft as my favourite obsession - Richard Eyre's production of GUYS AND DOLLS at the Olivier Theatre - had lost most of it's glorious cast; G&D was the show that gave me the Pauline conversion to the glory of theatre and I was faced with that aching reality of loving a show... all things must come to an end.  No more Julia McKenzie, John Normington, Bill Paterson, David Healy or Harry Towb.  The good news was that Harry Towb was going straight into a new musical at the Comedy Theatre called LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS.  Being a film buff I knew of the 1960 Roger Corman comedy-thriller film so I went along to see a preview with an idea what I was going to see but primarily to see 'Uncle' Harry.  I reeled out of the Comedy a few hours later, with a new musical obsession!

One of the pleasures looking back on theatre memories is you can identify great performances as they stand out down the years, and I am proud that I can say I saw Ellen Greene as Audrey onstage.  It was a truly remarkable performance - as two-dimensional as a cartoon, but played with sudden depths of feeling and emotion to make her a totally lovable, totally original creation.  And that voice... soft as a fake-fur coat when she sang her longing ballad SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN and the power seen during her moments in SKID ROW was let loose during the huge duet SUDDENLY SEYMOUR when poor Barry James as Seymour had to hang on to the set for his life when she released the full belt in the line "He don't condescennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd" was one of the great theatre moments I have seen (and felt).  Barry James was a delightfully endearing schlubb as Seymour, the thrillingly deep evil of Michael Leslie's baritone voice made Audrey II fully come alive and Terence Hillyer was a hoot in his various characters but mainly as Orin Scrivello - DDS - the sadistic dentist boyfriend of Audrey who deservedly became the first victim in Audrey II's jaws.  Popping up throughout the show were the holy trinity of Nicola Blackman, Dawn Hope and Shezwae Powell as Chiffon, Crystal and Ronette, three urchins who invited us into the show and sang us out to our doom as Audrey II's tentacles landed on our heads as their last note ended.  And 'Uncle' Harry?  He was glorious of course, holding the show steady with his stage experience and comic timing.  Howard Ashman's tight direction - tight as Audrey II's jaw-snap - his genuinely witty script and delicious 60s retro-score with Alan Menkin made the show absolutely irresistible.

Again the spectre of theatre-going descended as one by one the original cast left - and while the show was still enjoyable in itself, the magic of that original cast dissipated over it's near-two year run.  Memories of a naff touring production starring Su Pollard were luckily swept away by Matthew White's Menier production which gave Sheridan Smith a great showcase for her comedy and musical talents, and she was well partnered by Paul Keating as Seymour and, in a nice touch, Barry James as Mushnik.  I couldn't bring myself to see the recent revival which looked over-stated and under-cast, when you have seen the best you really have to curate your memories to keep them fresh.  Of course, Ellen Greene managed to preserve her Audrey in the 1986 film version, after a long wait when Cyndi Lauper was considered, but although it has a cult following - and the fantastic Levi Stubbs of The Four Tops voicing the killer plant - if you had seen the original stage production, it's pace is leaden and obvious.

Happily for posterity - and me - Ellen's rendition of SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN was filmed for the 1983 Standard Drama Awards show where the show won Best Musical, so here she is mixing the comic and the pathos for an unforgettable experience, attended by the trio of Nicola Blackman, Shezwae Powell and Dawn Hope.

On Monday Owen's period of birthday celebrations finally came to an end with us attending SISTER ACT at the London Palladium that I had bought us tickets for! It was an enjoyable experience to go to the Palladium as I never go there too often as the productions always seem to be more family-orientated - says a lot about me I guess! It also tells you that I enjoyed the theatre more than the show. Oh I enjoyed the two hours-plus traffic of the stage, don't get me wrong... I just found the show vanishing from my mind as I watched it.

The trouble is the source film - okay the musical premise is fine for a story about a group of nuns being taught how to sing by someone hidden in their convent on a witness protection scheme - but the actual plot is thin, thin, thin - and it really can't bear the strain of a musical plonked on top of it. The inconsistencies in the story are too exposed on the wide expanse of the Palladium's stage.It was packed with coach parties and group bookings so the place was well buzzy... which is always a nice atmosphere to enter - just as long as they shut their gobs during the show. Sadly the teenagers behind Owen were not told this. However it is the kind of show that you really don't need to worry about missing any of it's subtleties.

A lot of money has been spent on the show but the script - surprisingly from two producer/writers from CHEERS - is a bit pedestrian. Alan Menkin has showed that he has an uncanny ear for a pop pastiche - most notably in LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS as well as his Disney cartoon scores - and here he turns in a couple of 70's old school soul numbers - oddly though only for the male supporting performers: the villain's three henchmen get the best with a Floaters-style LADY IN THE LONG BLACK DRESS, the desk-job cop who secretly loves the heroine sings I COULD BE THAT GUY with blink-and-you-miss-them costume changes into a Travolta white suit and back, and the villain gets the comic WHEN I FIND MY BABY - sadly they, along with the rest of the score, are lumbered with Glenn Slater's uninspired lyrics. The big production numbers are loud, rollicking and well-sung - it's just a shame they are a bit unmemorable - maybe the score duties should have been given to HAIRSPRAY's Marc Shaiman who has a genuine ear for a good, memorable tune.Patina Miller plays Delores, the lounge singer who witnesses a gangland killing and is hidden in a convent, and she has a fierce belt of a voice that does indeed lift her songs to dizzying heights. Sadly her non-singing performance is a trifle samey - I wasn't sure if it reminded me of Tina Turner doing a Bette Midler impression or vice versa. The one attribute she lacked was a genuine warmth.

Sheila Hancock played the role of the Mother Superior with a nice air of testy impatience but ultimately I wearied of her role which ultimately gave her nothing to do but come on and off the stage with a frown and a resigned not-too-funny putdown. I guess I just wanted maybe a LITTLE depth to these roles. To be honest, most of the time I was remembering Hancock was London's first-ever Mrs. Lovett in SWEENEY TODD.

In fact I found myself thinking occasionally of other shows - how Patina Miller would be good as Deena in DREAMGIRLS.... how it's about time we saw DREAMGIRLS on stage... how the aisle would be a good one for Mama Rose to barge down at the start of GYPSY... when are we going to see GYPSY in London again... OH I HAVE TO CLAP AGAIN!!

The cast certainly put their all into the production, a little too much really - there was an ensemble number for the nuns to tell Delores how they joined up which they belted out to the back of the balcony. The next scene has Delores taking them in choir practice - and guess what? None of them can sing. Like... duh.

The sets were lovely however! Whether using the famous Palladium revolve or with the use of sliding screens to give us ever changing vistas of the Convent, Klara Zieglerova's set was a constant pleasure as were Lez Brotherston's absurdly OTT frocks.

The show ended on a high after a rather truncated climax but what I remember most was the total lack of surprise in the show, nothing surprised, nothing original. It was all very well constructed but it was all quite soulless. If I had written this earlier in the week I might have been a bit more generous to it but in the meantime we went to see AVENUE Q at it's new home at the Wyndhams. Everything SISTER ACT labours for, AVENUE Q manages effortlessly.

Genuinely funny with memorable songs across a range of styles and when needed, lip-smacking bad taste as opposed to mere tackiness.

Where SISTER ACT goes out of it's way to make it's line-up of nuns endearing - salty nun who takes to rapping, fat jolly nun, young nun who is not sure of her calling - and failing because they are so paper-thin, AVENUE Q's line-up of felt and fur characters get you rooting for them with no effort at all!

It was good as well to see Delroy Atkinson in the cast of AVENUE Q as the hapless Gary Coleman. He gave a fine performance in the Ray Davies musical COME DANCING at Stratford East as the young Jamaican musician Hamilton and here he delivers in all his numbers.

Let the SISTERs ACT, get yourself to AVENUE Q if you haven't already - or even if you have!