Who said Vaudeville is dead? They obviously have not been to the new Thursday night VAUXHALLVILLE at the venerable V Tavern. The VT looks all the better for having had a bit of cash thrown at it... bona bogs now tho' the tilted mirror over the oorinals was a bit of a worry. The Coates girl has been banging on about this night for the past 3 weeks so I gave in and went with O and The Poshest Paul Evah.

Dawn picked the table right in front of the stage, promptside... the things that she will do to get to fight a boxing Kangaroo. More of that later. Our Emcee, Nathaniel De-Ville, took us on a slideshow journey through gay history which culminated in him burning his Calvins on stage in protest against the CK Klones. He HAD stepped out of them I hasten to add. I have never seen such red bollies. It was obv quite cold up there too by the looks of things. Then it was time for the first turn off the rank, the Bearlesque boyz... bugga me if it wasn't Freddy, mate Andrew's ex-flatmate! I was VERKLEMPT. Of all the places in all the world I had to look at HIS bumcrack hanging over his leather shorts! Actually it was great fun which resulted in Freddy doing his Jennifer Beals/FLASHDANCE routine which ended up with our table sopping wet from being in the line of fire of a bucket of water chucked over him. Next up we had Luci Fire - executing a mean striptease while raining glitter down on us from her ostrich fans - oh and spots of fake blood when she crushed roses to her which bled all over her naked body. No hefty laundry bills for her. I must say I never knew what the female naked body looked like until I went to the VT. Us alternate gayers like a pair of knockers it must be said.

The last act was Luci's Firetusk Painproof Circus where her tattooed assistant - in a Kangaroo suit - boxed 3 members of the audience.... needless to say Our Dawn was up there faster than we could say knife and gave the hapless bugger a right old belting with her comedy club. There was really no need for her to belt him off the stage - and over our table resulting in us 3 being covered in our drinks! She was followed by Freddy looking very fetching in his leather shorts and glitter Viking helmet. The things he put that roo through had Steve Irwin doing a spin-cycle in his box. One more bloke had a go but in the final vote - Dawn won the free bottle of Champagne. Which we polished off. Our third. I only hope my Diabetnik doctor isn't reading this. The evening ended not only with the retina-burning sight of Freddy pole-dancing round one of the VT's columns, but also a quick dance to several standards - BEAT IT and LET'S DANCE to be precise.

It was good to see Freddy again after all this time and to tell him how good the act was. - Lord knows the dinner long-mooted between he, me and Andrew showed no sign of ever happening. It was a fun night and if there are 3 good acts on in the future I would go again... only maybe a little further back. I positively squelched home with soggy trousers and jacket!