DEAD MAN'S CHEST. Never has so much money been spent on something so totally forgettable. I have no problems with a trilogy. But dear God do something in the second film rather than just run around with unnecessary plotlines trailing behind you. So much was being thrown at the screen that there were several times I found myself totally at sea with the events happening at sea.
Johnny Depp is given his head to reprise his foppish, whacked-out, cowardly Jack Sparrow and again gets by on the goodwill generated by previous performances. Sadly those two planks of wood in human form, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, are back on board and in danger of serious warping as so much water is thrown at them. I have come to the conclusion that Knightley is an amalgam of Helena Bonham Carter and Elizabeth Hurley. Her performance here is lamentable. Her lines are intoned in a flat Knightsbridge accent - like a Benenden headgirl playing Shakespeare - and moments of drama are best expressed with a knitted frown and clenched fists. Jonathan Pryce reappears in a mortgage-holding role as Knightley's father.
Four new supporting characters are brought in: Tom Hollander is a smarmy officer in the East India Company who is there to be hissed at by being nasty to the planks of wood, Stellan Skarsgard is unrecognisable as Bloom's ghostly father trapped among the crew of Davy Jones played with great relish by Bill Nighy - equally unrecognisable with the face of an octopus! Naomie Harris plays a Jamaican ju-ju woman and is a welcome relief from the white bread Knightley.
We also saw the ad for pirate (no pun intended) dvds - you know the one, several scenes from the latest blockbuster which then shrink down to a tiny screen while a voice-over berates people who would want to watch it on the small rather than big screen. Funny how they change they tune when the dvd is officially released!
2 comments:
But, that aside, you liked it really, didn't you? And you *hearted* the blue and yellow parrot.
Ooo-ar Chris-lad, there be doubloons in that thar treasure chest!
...and blimey, didn't it go on? Actually my main gripe was I thought Keith Richards was going to be in it, and felt very cheated after, what was it, the 5 hours 45 mins + commercials and trailers, only to be told by mates afterwardsI have to wait for part 3.
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