Thank God for the following:
and of course:
Apart from them... Amateur Night in Dixie.
The jaw-dropping display of musical media whoredom that is James Blunt, KT Tunstall and The Kaiser Chiefs. Have any of these oxygen-thieves EVER turned down a television opportunity? The first two are understandable I guess being light entertainment at best but the KC are truly frightening. Not forgetting the almighty strop they pitched at being beaten for the Mercury Prize by Antony And The Johnsons, their wallowing at the Brits was quite astonishing. Oh for just ONE band these days *not* to run to any award ceremony going (tho' The Arctic Monkeys won snaps for non-appearance). According to Popbitch, the KC's performance of "I Predict A Predictable Song" was the cue for the waiting staff in the platinum corporate section to come round with the stilton and oatcakes. How appropriate.
Also what a win-double... James Blunt and Jack Johnson on the same stage. I am loving the reports that everytime Blunt was mentioned when the nominations were read out the crowd booed! Cue that slappable sanctimonious tosser Chris Martin starting an onstage whinge about how we should support our English talent. THEN he did that big dramatic statement about "You won't see us for a while". Then said it again. And again. Would you believe on the basis of that statement EMI's share-rating dropped this morning? Says it all I guess.
Shall I push this a bit more? SURE! Didn't you love the way when they read out the nominations for Best Album it was all about how many units were shifted, how many platinum discs they had etc. etc. - well all except the Kate Bush one.
Added to which there were the humour-free zones that were the presenters... Harry Hill with the jaw-dropping comment "Good news: Madonna and Guy are here. Bad news: they're fighting". Charmed. Oh and the humour-bypass that was the bloke supposedly billed by The Brits as "Chris O'Dowd (from The IT Crowd)". As the Guardian blogger said, at an event like this it must be particularly embarrissing to have your name followed by parenthesis.
Apart from the three Americans shown above, as La Golden would say "A new high in lows".
4 comments:
I'm afraid I still disagree about Prince, I was never a big fan, hoever everything else I can agree with on some level. The KC's got a bit boring at the end.
I liked Madonna though pity she didn't sing.
Oooo I *like* it when you dip your pen in vitriol and then splurge it on the page. "Oxygen thieves" is such a nice phrase...
A very enjoyable rant, Mr Voisey. I'm just surprised Kelly Clarkson avoided your poison pen, she was truly the direst of the dire.
I was in the lucky position of seeing it on video so fast-forwarded thru said Clarkson. My heart goes out to you having to sit though it!
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