You think YOU got problems!!

Constant Reader, I have been through quite a week.

I knew it was going to be a tits-up kinda week when I realised I have been living a lie for 27 years. All this time I have been searching for a copy of the NME from May 6, 1978 which had the first Anti-Nazi League/Rock Against Racism march and open-air gig on the cover. I was there and had told the world that I was well featured inside the paper in a crowd shot. Lo and behold... there it was on eBay and I won it for the princely sum of one whole pound. Skippity-hop I went that I would finally have this piece of tangible history in my hands. It arrived and I sat calmly on the couch, licking a finger and slowly turning the pages, legs crossed like a Pinter heroine.

THE BLEEDIN' PHOTO WASN'T THERE. It must have been in SOUNDS or MELODY MAKER. What a capricious mistress memory is.

Then last Thursday I decided it would be nice to have a Motown tribute on my website which was due an update the next day. There I was, happily clicking and saving on internet sites of sepia sirens of soul when I was aware my Zone Alarm was trying to tell me I had something trying to access my computer. I clicked 'deny access' and the next thing I knew I had the damn thing's icon on the computer. Cut to the computer going completely upsy-mong... switching itself off, ominous blue screens then nothing, terminating my internet access... Luckily my 24 hour computer helpline (aka Owen's mobile) was to hand. However, despite Owen sending me a weblink to help blast the spyware to bits, the computer and it's new cyber-squaters refused to yeald and then started turning off 5 minutes after it was turned on.

Owen left the leafy bowers of Streatham for the wilds of Enfield on Sunday morning to try and solve the problem but to no avail. He appeared at 12.50 - and we left on the 18.30 train for Michele's 40th birthday dinner which had started... 3 and a half hours earlier. Every time we thought it had finally become lurgi-free we would find the bloody thing lurking and sniggering loudly, proffering v-signs and mooning us. For the sake of our sanity we left with fingers crossed that Michele might have stayed in the bar bit of the bar/grill where her afternoon gathering was.. but allegedly we missed her by 20 minutes. A walk down to her flat was to no avail.

So I presume my name is mud in that mews.

So how come I am typing this now? Because I bit the bullet - yes and with MY teeth too - and reverted the computer back to factory settings. Of course that was a factory in 2000 so the damn thing is now completely confused about how life has changed in 5 years. Honey ain't we all.

How ironic that I finally saw ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND early last week before any of this started. How handy it would be to be able to erase unhappy memories from one's mind. I know where I would start.....